Lead with your heart or your mind?

Recently I've been in such a bad place becuase of guys in my life. Sometimes I think being ina realtionship is the best thing, but at other times I see that I can't be in a relationship until I'm totally cool with myself and who I am. I remember someone aying that " If you don't love yourself then how are you gonna love someone else". It just doesn't work if you don't have faith in each other. I've been in a situation where you like/love each other but it gets complicated. I'm learning that sometimes we lead with our hearts but other times we lead with our minds. I still don't which one to use at certain times because a part of me wants to give all my heart when I'm with a special person but they don't seem to appreciate what I give them. Sometimes as girls we feel like guys use us and they don't always feel like they need us but the truth is they might need you as much as you need them.